Are you touching yourself?
Try shooting video of yourself.
Positive body language could definitely help you become a more effective leader.
Would you like help? Click here for a free strategy session on the phone or on Skype.
Try shooting video of yourself.
Positive body language could definitely help you become a more effective leader.
Would you like help? Click here for a free strategy session on the phone or on Skype.
Some people talk with their hands.
Some people talk with their hands a little too much.
They’re in the middle of a room – yet, it’s like they’re waving down a plane. Distracting? Yes.
Have you ever been in an audience or watched someone online and found yourself watching them act like they’re conducting an orchestra? And you don’t remember a word they said?
What you’re DOING with your face, hands and the rest of your body can either ADD or DETRACT from your message. They may not hear a word you’re saying because of what your body’s doing.
You may have no idea you even have this issue. Most people won’t tell you. We’re all too nice. ESPECIALLY if you’re the boss.
Your non-verbal communication will contribute (or is contributing right now) to your success or failure.
Kasia Wezowski is the founder of the Center for Body Language and the author of four books on the subject. She recently wrote about this for the Harvard Business Review.
In the article, she specifically broke down body language from the 2012 U.S. Presidential election. The Center for Body Language conducted an online survey with 1,000 participants.
“… both Democrats and Republicans—watched two-minute video clips featuring Barack Obama and Mitt Romney at campaign events delivering both neutral and emotional content. Webcams recorded the viewers’ facial expressions, and our team analyzed them for six key emotions identified in psychology research: happy, surprised, afraid, disgusted, angry, and sad. We coded for the tenor of the emotion (positive or negative) and how strongly it seem to be expressed. This analysis showed that Obama sparked stronger emotional responses and fewer negative ones. Even a significant number of Republicans—16%— reacted negatively to Romney. And when we analyzed the candidates’ body language, we found that the President displayed primarily open, positive, confident positions congruent with his speech. Romney, by contrast, often gave out negative signals, diminishing his message with contradictory and distracting facial expressions and movement.”
Are you sending out positive and open signals? Or are you sending out negative and distracting signals?
Let’s take a look.
The Center for Body Language studied successful leaders across a range of fields and identified several positions which indicate effective, persuasive body language.
Here are its findings:
“Early in Bill Clinton’s political career he would punctuate his speeches with big, wide gestures that made him appear untrustworthy. To help him keep his body language under control, his advisors taught him to imagine a box in front of his chest and belly and contain his hand movements within it. Since then, “the Clinton box” has become a popular term in the field.”
Holding the ball
“Gesturing as if you were holding a basketball between your hands is an indicator of confidence and control, as if you almost literally have the facts at your fingertips hands. Steve Jobs frequently used this position in his speeches.”
Wide stance
“How people stand is a strong indicator of their mindset. When you stand in this strong and steady position, with your feet about a shoulder width apart, it signals that you feel in control.”
Palms up
“This gesture indicates openness and honesty. Oprah makes strong use of this during her speeches. She is a powerful, influential figure, but also appears willing to connect sincerely with the people she is speaking to, be it one person or a crowd of thousands.”
Palms down
“The opposite movement can be viewed positively too—as a sign of strength, authority and assertiveness. Barack Obama has often used it to calm a crowd right after moments of rousing oration.”
This is why I record my clients on video. Sometimes they have no idea what they look like while they’re talking until they see what I shoot. It’s much easier to fix issues when you’re aware of them.
Try shooting video of yourself. How did you stand? How did you use your hands?
Positive body language could definitely help you become a more effective leader.
Would you like help? Please click here for a free strategy session on the phone or on Skype (so I can check out your body language).
“Smile.”
“Why don’t you smile more?”
“You’re so pretty when you smile.”
When I was younger, directors said it to me. Photographers. Bosses. Strangers on the street. My parents still do.
“Smile.”
I speak at colleges often. Recently, at Loyola University Chicago’s School of Communications, resting bitch face came up. Lots of people have it. I’m one of them.
I may look like I want to tear you apart, when actually, I’m singing Oh Happy Day in my head.
Those suffering from Resting Bitch Face (aka Bitchy Resting Face) are mostly women. You know someone afflicted with it. They may look vaguely annoyed, judgy and slightly bored.
I talk about resting bitch face when I coach women. It’s important to know if you have one. Especially when you’re interviewing for a job, speaking on stage or doing a media appearance.
Queen Elizabeth, Anna Kendrick, Victoria Beckham and Kanye all have it.
Here’s a little science behind it.
Jason Rogers and Abbe Macbeth, behavioral researchers with international research and innovation firm Noldus Information Technology, decided to investigate: Why are some faces off-putting? What, exactly, makes us register as RBF?
The researchers enlisted Noldus’s FaceReader, a sophisticated tool engineered to identify specific expressions based on a catalogue of more than 10,000 images of human faces. The software, which can examine faces through a live camera, a photograph or a video clip, maps 500 points on the human face, then analyzes the image and assigns an expression based on eight basic human emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, disgust, contempt, and “neutral.”
One particular emotion that helps the reader’s response jump is contempt. The software measures the look of contempt in a face in subtle signals, like “one side of the lip pulled back slightly, the eyes squinting a little,” Rogers explained.
Or: “It’s kind of a tightening around the eyes, and a little bit of raising of the corners of the lips — but not into a smile,” Macbeth suggested.
The cues are understated, yet the machine detects and interprets them the same way our human brains do.
This is important. You may not know it – but your brain detects and interprets what it thinks someone is feeling or saying through their face.
It means – even though one thing is coming out of your mouth… the way your face LOOKS may determine how that person feels about you and what you’re saying.
Here’s the kicker.
Noldus’s FaceReader is software and therefore immune to gender bias. It detected RBF in male and female faces in equal measure. Which means that the idea of RBF as a predominantly female phenomenon has little to do with facial physiology and more to do with social norms.
Have you ever heard anyone tell a man to smile? It’s pretty rare for a man to have resting bitch face.
Smiling is expected from women far more than it’s expected from men.
“… there’s a lot of anecdotal articles and scientific literature on that. So RBF isn’t necessarily something that occurs more in women, but we’re more attuned to notice it in women because women have more pressure on them to be happy and smiley and to get along with others.” Macbeth said.
Worried you may have RBF?
What else could you be doing that you are not aware of right now that’s hurting you in interviews, public speaking and media appearances?
Let me help you. As a media coach and public speaking trainer, I help my clients with these issues.
I’d love to send you free tips like these regularly. Sign up for my media blasts here.
When I was about 35, I remember thinking about all the things I wanted to do, but was waiting for because they were things to do when “I get married.” I’m not the only one who thinks this way. I hear a lot of women say things like, “I can’t wait to go to Paris (or insert some amazing city on their list) someday with someone special.”
I had the list of what I was waiting to do… but I also had a checklist of what I wanted for myself before I got married.
Why did I need to do those things for myself, while subconsciously, I still waited for other things – until I got married?
And, do we do the same thing when it comes to our careers?
Are you waiting for:
Is there something else you’re waiting for today?
Maybe you think the next big promotion will give you those opportunities or your boss will pay for more training.
We all think the next move will give us more. But, what if it doesn’t?
What if the training you receive now, will help you land your next raise, promotion or title?
Recruiters tell the Graduate Management Admission Council that the top skills MBAs need are oral communication, listening and writing.
Hiring a media coach or a public speaking trainer benefits your career greatly, and if your company doesn’t reimburse you for the expense, it’s a tax write-off.
It’s a good idea to hone these skills now so when the spotlight shines on you with the opportunity to move up – you’re ready.
I can help you. Book your free consultation with me here.
In case you were wondering… here are three of the things I wanted to do once I got married:
You can’t keep waiting until you’re married, make more money, or the market hits its “real bottom.”
You can’t wait to get media coaching or to revamp your LinkedIn or website.
Go get what you want now.
People are fired for what they post or tweet in their off-hours. This is fact.
Your personal social media platforms are not really personal. Once hired – you represent your company.
A simple tweet can hurt the reputation of your company.
Not everyone understands. Do your employees?
This is something I help my clients navigate.
Most of the social media mistakes that have made headlines were preventable.
Do you have a plan? Do you have a company social media strategy?
Already have a social media strategy? Great! Have you TRAINED your employees?
When I helped create the social media platforms for NBC Chicago — and then helped other NBC stations across the country… we made sure to set up training sessions with all employees. From on-air to sales… we tried to guide everyone through what was at the time – new waters. It was still communicating with our audience — but it was in a very new way. There were new deadlines and rules. Training was key.
Your employees may not necessarily know what’s public and what’s private. This is very important to teach.
Oh, and here’s a big reason why you want to do social media training: once you train on it – it could make it easier to fire an employee when they do make the mistake. If you don’t do the training – they can claim they didn’t know. And, they didn’t, did they? You never told them…
Don’t get overwhelmed — this doesn’t have to be a day-long training. It’s a few hours with all employees – and it can be set up at different times so everyone can make it when it’s convenient for the company.
Have you already had issues with social media at your company? Can you imagine how much could have been prevented with the right training?
Remember — one wrong message on social media can make your company lose a lot of money. People question your hiring and the way you manage people. They’ll wonder if you’re that lax in other departments.
After reading this – don’t avoid creating a great digital brand through using social media because it could hurt you. That’s like not hiring anyone to work your storefront because you’re too afraid he’ll say the wrong thing.
You NEED social media but you NEED to use it the right way. It’s an art and science. It’s not a job for so-and-so’s “son who likes to mess around on Twitter.” This person should have a key strategy, marketing and communications role on your team.
The hire is one of the most important moves you can make.
We’re just days away from tax day. You have three extra days this year to file your returns. The deadline is Tuesday, April 18, 2017.
If your business has anything to do with taxes… I’d be reaching out to your local media with different angles for TV, newspaper, radio and digital audiences. It’s not too late. Journalists need these stories now and it’s free advertising for you.
It’s also a good time to think about how to save money this year. Did you know there are many job-related costs that are tax write-offs?
Recruiters tell the Graduate Management Admission Council that the top skills MBAs need are oral communication, listening and writing.
If you have a customer-facing or board-facing job, invest in your personal appearance, market yourself with a personal website showing the advantages that come with you and create a LinkedIn page that reflects you best.
It’s also important to work on your public speaking and storytelling skills.
Hiring a media coach or a public speaking trainer benefits your career greatly, and if your company doesn’t reimburse you for the expense, it’s a tax write-off.
“The expenses don’t have to be required by your employer to be considered necessary. You make the call about whether an expense is necessary to do your job,” says Laura Adams, MBA, Money Girl.
Here are some other ways you can pay less taxes and save money legally from Laura Adams, MBA, Money Girl. (I was a TV producer for 20 years – and specifically the “money producer” at FOX Detroit for several years – so giving tax tips is in my blood.)
Many traits in demand by companies, like public speaking, storytelling and personal branding, are not taught in school or by your company.
Do you get stuck when writing about yourself on LinkedIn? Are you having trouble telling the story of what you did for each company?
Do you freeze a little when you need to speak in front of larger or even small groups?
You can learn how to be better at public speaking.
You can learn how to tell the story of your career online, in your resume – or during a job interview.
I’m the media coach and public speaking trainer who helps people present at a higher level, tell their story to attract dream clients or to gain media attention.
Confidentiality is everything.
I am discreet. Most clients don’t talk about me… but you’ll notice a change in them after I work with them. Book your free consultation with me here.
By the way… if you still need help with your taxes, this is my guy. He’s great.
It was six o’clock on a Sunday morning and I raced out of bed to buy coffee.
I wanted to beat the others.
You see, I tried Saturday, but the line was WAY too long. It was down the street. In my opinion, no coffee is worth standing in that kind of line.
My strategy of going Sunday morning before everyone else hit the streets paid off. There’s was no line and I sipped my grande dry almond milk cappuccino in peace. Well, along with a pain au chocolat with crème d’amande from the very French bakery next door, Le Panier. I will dream of those for a long time.
I was in Seattle, drinking coffee made at the first ever Starbucks. Now, if I could just run into one of my favorite 90s grunge bands, my day would be made.
While my husband didn’t understand, I wanted to see if it tasted different. If it stood out. If it was anything special.
It was good. Okay, it was delicious. But, it was really the location and experience that made this a great cappuccino.
When I travel – I always have a list of things I want to see. For our trip to Seattle, I wanted to listen to the music of my high school/college years, see the Space Needle, shop Pike Place Market and have coffee in the first Starbucks. Okay, I see you rolling your eyes over there. I know, it’s just giving more money to this gigantic corporation — but, it’s also a piece of our pop culture. To me, it’s worth seeing.
In the news biz, coffee is a big deal. I worked on TV morning news shows for longer than I’d like to admit. You work so early in the morning (or late at night) that coffee is your fuel. The problem is, unless you brew it yourself, it’s REALLY hard to get good quality coffee before work. The coffee shops are all closed and McDonald’s, as good as this piece in Business Insider says it’s coffee is getting … doesn’t sell coffee that early in the morning. Seriously.
You’d think it would be no problem. Roll into a McDonald’s drive-thru around 2am on a Wednesday morning, grab a McCafe, don’t burn yourself, and head into work.
Sadly, it doesn’t work that way.
I found that no matter how many drive-thrus I tried, it was downright impossible to buy coffee at McDonald’s at that time of the day. I tried several of them around Chicago, but would often get the same story: “This is when we clean our machines.”
So, yeah, no coffee at 2am as I headed into NBC or WGN … or any of the other stations in which I worked.
As morning producers, we all knew what time Starbucks opened in the morning. It was too late to launch us into our shifts – but it was just in time to get us through the second half of our hours spent turning out stories each morning.
There are TV news producers all over the country right now who know my order well. They were my interns at one point – and know that if they made the run, they got free “whatever you want” on my Starbucks gold card. Oh, and they also learned that in the United States, these kinds of stories are always a hit.
When we stayed late for trainings or station meetings – there were always boxes of coffee there too. By then, 9 hours into a shift… you’re pretty sick of coffee, and your stomach is a mess from all the acid… but you still drink.
Seattle to me will always be where Pearl Jam came from – but, after 20 years in the TV news business, I wanted to pay homage to the first of the many Starbucks I’ve sat in, ran through, drove through, had meetings in, ate in, worked in… and also was introduced to many singer/songwriters in for the first time. It’s also the place that introduced me to Kind Bars. Yummm… often my breakfast and lunch for weeks. I eventually ended up buying them by the case from Amazon.
Starbucks is also reliable. No matter where you’re driving across the United States, you know what they’ll have when you stop there. You know the coffee will be good and there will be snacks. A variety of them. Have you had the new sous vide egg bites. Holy cow those are good. Thank you, Starbucks, for finally making something delicious that’s not wrapped in bread.
I don’t normally eat at chain restaurants, but as someone who fueled herself on coffee for her entire career – I was happy to be in Seattle to see where it all started.
PS: I’m looking forward to going back to Seattle this summer. The new Pike Place MarketFront expansion opens June 29. The expansion will return farmers and producers to the site. 30k square feet of open public space, a public plaza and viewing deck with expansive views of the Olympic Mountains, Mount Rainier and Puget Sound!