Mastering Self-Talk: Unlock Confidence and Control

Recognizing Negative Self-Talk

Think about the last time you doubted your abilities. Maybe it was before giving a presentation, tackling a high-stakes project, or even walking into a room full of decision-makers. Did you tell yourself, I’m not doing a great job or, What if I’m not enough? That negative self-talk can quietly undermine your confidence and hold you back from performing at your best.

Here’s the thing: We need to become our own biggest cheerleaders. Self-talk is more than a motivational buzzword—it’s a powerful tool to stay grounded, confident, and in control. Imagine starting your day by telling yourself: “I’m in the right place. I’ve got this. I’m doing a great job.” 

Simple? Yes. 

Effective? Absolutely.

The Science of Positive Self-Talk Techniques

Research consistently shows that positive self-talk can:

• Boost confidence: Affirming phrases like “I’m in control” or “I’ve got this” help reduce anxiety and improve performance.
• Improve focus: By silencing the inner critic, you make room to focus on the task at hand.
• Increase resilience: Self-affirmation fosters a growth mindset, helping you bounce back from setbacks.

In high-pressure environments, this can be the difference between thriving and just surviving.

The Power of “You’ve Got This”

During a recent executive presence coaching  session, I shared a story about a barista who handed me my coffee and casually said, “You’ve got this.” It was such a simple phrase, but it changed my entire mood for the day. Why? Because it reminded me of something we all need to hear—and often forget to say to ourselves.

That’s when I challenged the group to shift their self-talk strategies. 

Instead of doubting their abilities or downplaying their strengths, I asked them to start affirming their worth: 

• You are the right person for this. 

• You’ve got this. 

• You’re doing a great job.

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Building a Positive Self-Talk Practice 

Here are a few actionable tips to master self-talk and create a confident inner dialogue:

Start Your Day with Positive Daily Affirmations for Success 

Begin each morning with phrases like:

• “I am prepared.”
• “I’ve got this.”
• “I’m the RIGHT person for this.”

Writing your affirmations down can make them even more powerful, as it helps solidify them in your mind and gives you a tangible reminder of your intentions. Consider keeping a journal specifically for affirmations, or place sticky notes with empowering phrases in visible spots.

Catch the Inner Critic

Notice when you’re being overly critical of yourself—it’s a habit many of us fall into without even realizing it. Instead of letting negative thoughts like “I’ll mess this up” take control, reframe them into something constructive, such as “I’ll give it my best shot.” Or, “I’m getting better at this each day.” This simple shift can make a big difference in how you approach challenges, boosting both your confidence and resilience.

Use a Confidence Boost in High-Stress Moments

Before meetings or presentations, pause to breathe and tell yourself:

• “I’m prepared.”
• “I’m confident.”
• “I’ve got this.”

Be Your Own Support System

Just like you’d encourage a friend or colleague, extend that same kindness to yourself. Treat your inner dialogue as you would a pep talk for someone you care about.

Practice Gratitude

Reflect on what you’ve accomplished and remind yourself of your strengths. Gratitude can shift your mindset and amplify positivity.

Take Control of Your Personal Narrative

The way we talk to ourselves matters. Positive self-talk doesn’t mean ignoring challenges but rather choosing to focus on what you can control and taking action.

• Start small: Say “I’ve got this” to yourself in the mirror.
• Write down one thing you did well today.
• Remind yourself of your strengths regularly.

By embracing positive self-talk, you’ll notice shifts in your confidence, leadership, and connections with others.