The most important conversation happens before you ever open your mouth
Before I consult anyone on how to transform from expert to influential leader, I ask one simple question:
What are you saying to yourself?
Before you ever speak to a team, an audience, or even a loved one, you’re already communicating. With yourself.
Some days, your inner voice builds you up: “You’ve got this.”
Other days? It picks you apart: “Don’t mess this up,” or, “You’re totally going to mess this up.”
It’s subtle. It’s persistent. And it’s shaping every interaction you have.
Here’s the truth: You have power over that voice. But like any habit, it takes awareness, intention, and daily practice.
Why Mindset Matters More Than You Think
I often share Stanford research with my clients. It finds that simply shifting your mindset can improve your health, decrease stress, and help you bounce back from life’s biggest challenges.
This isn’t fluff. It’s neuroscience.
And it applies directly to executive leadership communication.
Because if you don’t believe in what you’re saying, or in yourself, your audience won’t either.
Before we talk about strategy, storytelling, or how to “win the room,” we have to address the dialogue happening inside the room of your mind. That’s what sets the tone for everything else.
What Does Your Inner Voice Sound Like Today?
I hear it all the time from executives, physicians, and high-performers I coach:
- “I know my stuff, but I second-guess myself before I speak.”
- “I want to sound confident, but I keep thinking I’m not good enough.”
- “I feel like I have to prove myself before I’ve even opened my mouth.”
Sound familiar?
This inner dialogue doesn’t make you a weak leader. It makes you a human one.
But if we don’t recognize and recalibrate it, that voice will undermine your presence before you ever say a single word.
5 Ways to Shift Your Inner Dialogue and Strengthen Your Presence
Want to turn your inner critic into your inner coach? Start with these small, practical shifts:
1. Name It to Tame It – Identify Your Inner Dialog
Notice what your inner voice is saying, without judgment.
Is it helping you lead or making you shrink?
Try this: At the start of your day or before a big meeting, jot down one thing your inner voice is telling you. Then ask: Would I say this to a colleague I respect?
2. Reframe Self-Talk into Self-Coaching
Instead of: “Don’t mess this up.”
Try: “You’ve prepared for this. You’ve got tools. Focus on what matters.”
Your tone of voice to yourself matters just as much as your tone of voice to others.
3. Set a Pre-Talk Mantra
Before you walk into a room or deliver a message, use a grounding phrase.
Examples:
- “I don’t need to be perfect. I need to be present.”
- “I have something valuable to say.”
- “This moment is not about me. It’s about the people I serve.”
4. Record, Review, Reflect
Record yourself speaking in low-pressure moments (like casual presentations or Zoom calls). Watch it back. Not for critique, but for patterns.
Notice how your inner voice might have shaped your delivery. Did you hold back? Did your tone drop? Did you rush?
5. Build Your Evidence File
Keep a digital or physical folder of positive feedback, wins, and “you crushed it” moments. Read it before high-stakes conversations.
Confidence doesn’t come from hype. It comes from proof.
And you have more proof than your inner critic gives you credit for.
You Don’t Need to Be Perfect. You Need to Be Present.
This isn’t about checking a box or fitting into some outdated mold of what a “leader” should look or sound like.
It’s about showing up grounded, intentional, human.
As the leader, colleague, parent, or partner you want to be.
So the next time you prepare for a presentation, a hard conversation, or a meeting that matters, start here:
Ask yourself,
“What am I saying to myself?”
Because your inner voice is speaking first.
And the world is listening.
At Janicek Performance Group, we specialize in training leaders to accelerate growth, command attention, and drive innovation through impactful communication. If you’re ready to transform from expert to influential leader, refine your presence, project confidence, and take control of your message, reach out today to learn how we can help.
