I miss my mom.
And yes, even though we may bicker when we’re together, I really miss my sisters.
I felt very guilty on Easter morning for feeling lonely. For missing my family. How can you feel lonely if your house is full?
I still did.
I screwed up the pierogis.
I’ve never made them. I kind of watched when I was younger, but I didn’t really pay attention. Besides, my mom and sisters were good at them — so I didn’t need to learn. Someone else always hosts Easter.
- I’ve been 100% gluten-free for a few years now, and I needed a gluten-free version.
- I don’t own a rolling pin. Which I realized the night before Easter.
The lack of a rolling pin didn’t end up to be an issue.
A long bottle of potato vodka sitting in my cupboard served fine as a rolling pin.
It was the dough. It wasn’t pliable. It cracked when I used it.
I was a failure at my first pierogi.
Now, I wasn’t so upset that I ended up hitting the vodka at 9am… but for the first time during this pandemic lockdown, I felt really lonely. It was Sunday morning. Easter morning. I just finished “virtual church” — and I wasn’t going to be with my family. The sausage never came because I couldn’t get a Whole Foods Prime delivery window (tried for a week) — and I failed at making pierogi.
When I called my mom, she didn’t say what I thought she would… that I should have had a rolling pin or should have just not made them because the gluten-free flour would never make them right… instead she said:
“Kathryn, just like you tell your clients, practice practice practice. Whether you’re up on stage or trying a new recipe, you can’t expect yourself to be perfect the first time. Try again in a few days.”
And it was then that I realized the silver lining.
I could try again.
I had two of my executive coaching clients last week who told me they will never “get it.” That they will never be able to give a good media interview or deliver their speech on stage without having the “fear of $%$#& up.” One client said he was afraid he’d let his company down.
They don’t have to be a failure (I won’t let them).
And this pierogi deal didn’t have to be my Easter failure.
It could be just the start of my journey of perfecting my pierogi recipe.
Rev. Kara Wagner Sherer of St. John’s Episcopal Church in Chicago said this during her online sermon this Easter weekend: look for the silver linings.
I could try again and succeed.
You may also have seen the silver linings lately.
As Rev. Kara pointed out, there are many, but we have to look for them.
In our neighborhood, we can hear the birds chirping much more now because there’s less traffic.
Babies and dogs are spending more time with their parents now.
And maybe another silver lining is I may learn how to make pierogi.
I just can’t give up.
And neither should you.