Kathryn Janicek

How to Communicate in a Public Speaking Presentation, Social Media & On Stage So You’re Remembered

You may know Scott Galloway for his new show coming up on CNN+, but he’s also got an e-learning platform called Section4 and I was honored to be asked to present at their Member Lightning Talks recently.
The topic was communication, and I was asked to discuss how to communicate so you stand out and are remembered by your audience – in public speaking engagements, on social media, and on stage.
 
Is this something you’re working on right now?
 
Here are three strategies to help you stand out when you communicate:
 
1. Know your audience
2. Edutain (be provocative)
3. Be vulnerable to be memorable
 
P.S. – Don’t forget to prepare and practice!
 
Want to delve deeper into these concepts? Here’s the video with my complete talk.
Transcript:

Kathryn Janicek: Let’s now talk about how to craft your messages that will actually resonate with your customer the most, whether you’re on video, it’s your website, it’s social media, if you’re on stage, or in the media. I’m Kathryn Janicek, I’m the Founder and Chief Strategist at Kathryn Janicek Productions. It’s a super creative name. I’ve had my company for about seven years, I train in media and public speaking. I am a former TV exec. I’ve been the media for 25 years and I’ve won three Emmy’s. I have been so honored to be able to take three of the section four classes and it’s just been amazing.

How can you stand out as a thought leader? How can you show up as the expert in your industry? In your field? How can you impress audiences, future customers, current customers, investors make them trust and like you? I’m going to give you three ways you can do that today. There’s so many ways, but one way is to really know your audience. We hear it so often, but so many times, how often do you get to a conference and someone really hasn’t thought about their audience? Or they get up on any kind of stage or they’re being interviewed by the media and they’re really not thinking about who that end audience member is. So, think about your audience. If you’re in the media, for example, your audience is really not that journalist. Your audience is that person at home who might download your app, who might try out your brand new health thing or might buy your toy, whatever it is. But think about that 45-year-old female with two kids, who’s at home on the couch and that is who you’re talking to, that person.

You’re not talking to everyone. We narrowcast, not broadcast, right? We think about that actual person. And also to think about if you have a health company, if you have anything in healthcare or that honestly, anyone who needs to be trusted and if you need to look like you care about them, you need to look like you care about yourself. So, making sure you show up looking healthy and clean and it’s so, so important in front of anybody, right? Now, we all want a story tell, but think about your exact audience about who you’re telling a story to. And I was training a COO and other execs a couple weeks ago from a 12 billion company, I thanked them for taking the three days to fly to Chicago and actually take that time with me.

I told them about my dad was a weekend dad. He was around Monday through Friday, that resonated with this group. That would not resonate with 300 women who I might speak with who are in their twenties. I also told a story on day two about how I was misrepresented in an E! Entertainment story about Chris Farley. It was the Chris Farley biography that aired in 1998. This audience was perfect for it because it was men about 40 plus and they knew who Chris Farley was. I wouldn’t tell that story to a group of millennials or maybe women who were in their thirties because they just don’t remember who he was. So, think about who that audience is and what stories you can tell them. It’s really, really important. Another way you can think about it too, for yourself is I was training the new President of a major medical association.

And her job is to get more people vaccinated because she is in healthcare and that’s her job. She’s a pathologist. Now, instead of just saying, “you need to go get vaccinated,” we spun the story and I talk said “talk about as a CMO and as a mother of two college students, I really cannot tell you how important it is. I cannot underscore this enough, how important. When I got my two kids vaccinated, I needed them to get vaccinated before they go to college”. So, she wove in her story. So, be vulnerable and leave that in and we’ll talk about that in a second. Also, remember this is educating and entertaining. As much as CEOs will tell me all the time, I’m not a performer. I don’t want to entertain. It really is your job because you want to make sure you get your message across.

So, we have to edutain. We get up, we show our smarts, but we have to captivate an audience and keep them for 5, 10, 20, 40 minutes. So, you have to entertain. One of those ways is we can be a little bit more provocative. And I think that sometimes we think being provocative is injecting sex, it doesn’t have to be that way. If you really look at the old definition, the Latin origin of being provocative, it’s really about challenging, changing. How can you change the status quo and be provocative in your specific industry? And then how can you communicate how you’re different? You can’t compete with other companies head to head, right? You can’t compete with them with exactly what they’re doing. Try to change the status quo and then communicate how you are different.

And then really, really it’s important is making sure that your team is diverse because sometimes when we try to be provocative, you guys have seen all the bad stories out there when they backfire. When we want to be provocative, we should have a good diverse team, men, women, different people from all over the place, and also that reflects your audience because you don’t want it to backfire. Okay. In TV, we always made sure that we had people a diverse background, so we could talk to our specific audience. It’s really important. TV can do a little better of a job and they’re working on it. Also, be vulnerable to be memorable. Tell those really heart-wrenching stories and here’s, what’s really important is to practice, practice, practice. If you don’t prepare and really rehearse your speech, your talk, whatever it is, your two-minute video for YouTube, it’s really hard to then be vulnerable and be present and really emote, be thinking about every word you’re saying because you will not be impactful if we get up and read the words.

We have to really think about them because then you will touch the people, you will stay with them, you’ll be memorable. I’ve had CEOs who are great in the rehearsal, but then they get up and they get so much in their head because they’re trying to perform and look a certain way and make sure that all their ego gets going. And that vulnerable moment that we rehearse, that moment where they really thanked their team or whatever it was, and they kind of teared up, they didn’t do it when it was live because they weren’t present. They were thinking too much about how they were going to look. So, be prepared, so you can then be vulnerable. So, those quick takeaways are just making sure that we know our audience, we edutain, we are vulnerable but we rehearse, so we can be vulnerable and really be present. And I hope that was helpful.

It’s not an overnight success: How my healthcare client launched a public speaking career & published her book

Sometimes we see someone on TV, in a TEDx, on Instagram… and think, wow, she really made it.

We don’t see all the work that went into it.

No success is overnight.

Nothing is instant.

I can tell you from personal experience that no matter how famous or wealthy, celebrated or successful someone becomes, there is always a “before.” There are also coaches, experts, allies, and in some cases good therapists.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how grateful I am to have witnessed my friend Joyce Marter’s “before.” And how lucky we are that Joyce has published a book about how we can all transition from “before” to something more in terms of our health and wealth. 

Joyce founded and sold Urban Balance, a holistic mental health practice. She integrated her own family-first approach into Urban Balance’s culture, bringing on board other moms who wanted to work part-time and offering flexible work schedules. Urban Balance faced some of the same financial challenges encountered by most small businesses, including a bumpy cash flow that jeopardized timely payroll and rent payments. Joyce found a strong CPA and other experts to fill in some of her own blind spots. The accounting expertise helped right the ship and ultimately, set the company up for a profitable sale. This freed Joyce up to focus on the work she most enjoyed — writing and traveling to speaking engagements as a means of sharing with a broader audience what she had learned in her clinical practice. 

During this transitionary period, Joyce started wondering about a central question: Does prosperity lead to happiness, or is it the other way around? She reflected on a trend she’d been seeing with her clients: as their mental health improved, her clients also began experiencing raises, promotions, or better jobs; and many clients even started their own businesses. Joyce began to formalize a process by which she had helped her clients unlock the door to a life of personal health and financial wealth. Mental health and financial health are deeply interrelated, she reasoned. She knew money problems can trigger deep-rooted issues around self-worth, identity, and fear. But, she asked, what if you could shift your mindset around finances and open yourself up to a world of mental wellness and holistic success?

I began working with Joyce at the beginning of her public speaking career. I recognized her clear talents right away, and helped bring her professional speaking, media presence, branding, and image to the next level. By giving her honest feedback, like I do with all my clients, she was able to grow as a speaker and media contributor — and her confidence grew significantly. I helped her OWN her worth. 

As Joyce would often reflect during our meetings, “Mental health is the key to unlocking a life of prosperity, joy, and happiness. Too many of us are stuck in a rut of negativity. Phrases like ‘I’m not worthy’ and ‘I can’t do this’ are uttered far too frequently. From money to relationships to career and more, we’re consistently selling ourselves short. These thoughts contribute to our limiting beliefs about ourselves, our lives, our finances, and what we’re worthy of—and they’re 100% false.” 

Joyce codified her insights into a book–the culmination of years of Joyce’s work as a therapist, but also the result of her own personal journey towards an abundance mindset. In The Financial Mindset Fix, Joyce aims to help readers shift their mindset around finances and open themselves up to a world of mental wellness and holistic success in the process.

I’ve read an advance copy of the book, and it’s a life-changer. If you aim to be happier in your personal and professional life, The Financial Mindset Fix deserves a prominent spot on your bedside table. Joyce’s wisdom connecting mental health and wealth is really a breakthrough. Frankly, I learned several things about myself (associated with my gender’s sometimes-unique feelings about money), and I’ve made a few tweaks with immediate results. As a public speaking and media trainer, I know how much confidence and self-worth are tied to financial success. I will be giving this book to my clients. 

But don’t just take my word for it. Best-selling author Stephen M. R. Covey said, “In this wonderful new book, successful therapist Joyce Marter gently takes you by the hand and walks you down the path toward better mental health and a more abundant financial life.” And entrepreneur, best-selling author, and speaker Seth Godin said, “Money is a story, one that too often is used against us. When you’re ready to engage with intention, this book can help rewrite your story.” Yep, totally agree, gentlemen. 

Here’s my own review that you can see on Amazon (and it’s inside her actual book). I’m sandwiched right between Seth Godin and Stephen Covey.

Kathryn Janicek's review of The Financial Mindset Fix by Joyce Marter

As Joyce says, “Your personal beliefs about money can drive you to exhaustion or liberate you. Do you want the never-ending panic of scarcity or the freedom and joy of prosperity?”

The choice is obvious, right? I’m thrilled to have witnessed Joyce’s inspiring journey, and to have played a small part in her success.

I’m also the media coach and public speaking trainer who helps you present at a higher level, tell your story, and gain media attention. So do yourself a favor and read the book. Who knows? Maybe someday soon, I’ll be celebrating your journey, as well. 

If you’d like to order Joyce’s new book, you can do that here:

https://www.joyce-marter.com/book/the-financial-mindset-fix/

Happy Reading!

Warmly,

Kathryn

5 Ways Healthcare Professionals Can Improve Telehealth Appointments for Patients

A lot changed about how we do our jobs during the pandemic. For healthcare professionals, a watershed moment arrived for technology that was slowly trickling in for years. 

All of a sudden, telehealth appointments became the norm and many felt unprepared for how to best connect with their patients in this new virtual setting. Even when the pandemic is over, telehealth is here to stay. The genie is out of the box. We now know it can be done. And isn’t it nice not having patients show up late because of traffic?

As an experienced media and public speaking trainer, during this pandemic I’ve found myself specializing in helping healthcare professionals present themselves from their computers — whether that be with patients in telehealth appointments or in media interviews and public speaking engagements for online conferences. 

We’ve seen all the mistakes on TV. Cameras too low, cameras too high, dark rooms, terrible sound, distractions, and others I’m sure you’ve noticed.

This isn’t about looking good. It’s about making sure you connect with your audience. Making sure you do what you set out to accomplish with that telehealth appointment or media interview.

What are some ways you can improve your online presence and get better results?

Make it a great experience for the patient

This is what it’s all about. Your patients are coming to you with a health issue. They’re seeking comfort. They’re seeking guidance. And everything you do in a telehealth appointment should be supporting the goal of making the experience positive for them. Even though you’re connecting with your patients online, you want to make them feel cared for in the same way you would in person. 

Experiencing a technical issue? Don’t panic! Consider jumping on a phone call instead and cut out all of the video distractions. Good sound and connecting with the patient are what’s most important here. Also don’t spend a ton of time complaining about or apologizing for any technical issues, that only takes time away from the patient’s time and it can start eroding their confidence in you. Address it once and then move forward with the appointment. Recently, I had a telehealth appointment where the head of the department kept apologizing for the tech issues and disparaging technology in general. It made the experience frustrating for me and he came across as out of touch, so it was harder to trust him. Telehealth is here to stay – learn it, love it, and definitely don’t complain about it!

Be aware of your lighting

When you’re interacting with a patient in person, they’re able to easily read your body language and facial cues. They can clearly see your eyes and connect with you. This helps you establish trust. When you’re meeting with a patient virtually, it’s important to make sure they can see you so that they can read these same cues over video. If your face is in a shadow or your patient can’t quite see your eyes, it’s going to be very difficult for them to feel connected to you and to trust you. Lighting is crucial to how you appear on the screen. You want to make sure there aren’t any windows behind you. Your light needs to come from in front of you. If you can, use natural light from a window. But if that isn’t an option, try soft lighting from a lamp you place in front of you – and be sure to avoid creating any shadows with your monitor or phone. These lights from Amazon are a really affordable option… under $100 and I’ve used them for years. If you wear glasses, try to avoid those commonly used ring lights. You’ll see the halos in your lenses and that’s distracting.

Invest in a quality camera

In the same way that good lighting is an essential part of how you appear on the screen, the quality of your camera will impact how well your patients can see you. Cameras built into computers aren’t the best quality, so you’ll want to invest in one that makes you look as close to how you do in real life as possible. This Logitech 1080p camera is about $80 and I recommend it to all my clients.

Once you have a camera, where you place it is key! You want to set it up at eye level so you are looking right into the camera – and right into the eyes of your patient. It may feel a little weird at first, looking at a camera instead of your patient on the screen, so make sure you practice looking directly into the camera and talking to it. Beware of putting the camera too low or too high – we don’t want to look up your nose or have a meeting with your neck or chin (or your boobs)! 

Don’t forget about sound

Do not forget about sound. Clear communication is such an integral part of building trust with your patients, which is why you want to make sure you’re using a quality microphone so they can hear you. The sound of your voice can deliver a message that you care. We need to hear all the depth and range. During the pandemic, I had a family member who was very ill and I attended many telehealth appointments with them. There was one healthcare professional who was having sound issues during the entire appointment – her microphone was buzzing, she was cutting in and out and we kept mentioning it, but she couldn’t understand us. It was so frustrating because my family member was so sick and on top of that we were having to deal with not being able to hear what the doctor was saying. After the second time this happened, we just started making the trip to the office. This definitely isn’t how you want your patients feeling, so make sure you invest in a good microphone. AirPods work great. The mic is good and they are less distracting than a headset. 

Dress… not distract  

Just like you would for an in-person appointment, you want to present yourself well to your patients during a telehealth appointment. When you’re on camera, there are a few considerations to keep in mind that are a bit different from in-person. For clothes, you want to avoid high contrast patterns that don’t translate well. Go for rich, solid colors instead. Should you wear your white coat? That depends on the resolution of your camera and the background. If your camera has a low resolution or your background is predominantly neutral, you’ll want to avoid wearing your white coat as it won’t show up well. This is another reason to invest in a better camera. As far as accessories go, avoid loud jewelry because remember that quality microphone you ordered? It’s definitely going to pick up the sound of your bracelets clinking together when you gesture with your hands. That will be very distracting for your patients.

Above all else, when you’re thinking about ways to improve your telehealth appointments ask yourself, “Will this improve my patients’ experience and my connection with them?” That’s the goal: to create an environment where your patients feel cared for and supported, even though you’re not sharing the same physical space.

Interested in doing some one-on-one work on your telehealth technique? Let’s connect!

My new healthcare media training online class is launching soon. To get on the waiting list, sign up here!

Kathryn Janicek is a three-time Emmy winning media and public speaking trainer. She consults Fortune 500, healthcare, small businesses, tech companies & others on how to grow their business, attract better employees, increase brand equity and help their people be more confident by delivering more impactful messages to audiences.

Silver Linings in a Pandemic

I miss my mom.

And yes, even though we may bicker when we’re together, I really miss my sisters.

I felt very guilty on Easter morning for feeling lonely. For missing my family. How can you feel lonely if your house is full?

I still did.

I screwed up the pierogis.

I’ve never made them. I kind of watched when I was younger, but I didn’t really pay attention. Besides, my mom and sisters were good at them — so I didn’t need to learn. Someone else always hosts Easter.

  1. I’ve been 100% gluten-free for a few years now, and I needed a gluten-free version.
  2. I don’t own a rolling pin. Which I realized the night before Easter.

The lack of a rolling pin didn’t end up to be an issue.
A long bottle of potato vodka sitting in my cupboard served fine as a rolling pin.

It was the dough. It wasn’t pliable. It cracked when I used it.

I was a failure at my first pierogi.

Now, I wasn’t so upset that I ended up hitting the vodka at 9am… but for the first time during this pandemic lockdown, I felt really lonely. It was Sunday morning. Easter morning. I just finished “virtual church” — and I wasn’t going to be with my family. The sausage never came because I couldn’t get a Whole Foods Prime delivery window (tried for a week) — and I failed at making pierogi.

When I called my mom, she didn’t say what I thought she would… that I should have had a rolling pin or should have just not made them because the gluten-free flour would never make them right… instead she said:

“Kathryn, just like you tell your clients, practice practice practice. Whether you’re up on stage or trying a new recipe, you can’t expect yourself to be perfect the first time. Try again in a few days.”

And it was then that I realized the silver lining.

I could try again.

I had two of my executive coaching clients last week who told me they will never “get it.” That they will never be able to give a good media interview or deliver their speech on stage without having the “fear of $%$#& up.” One client said he was afraid he’d let his company down.

They don’t have to be a failure (I won’t let them).

And this pierogi deal didn’t have to be my Easter failure.

It could be just the start of my journey of perfecting my pierogi recipe.

Rev. Kara Wagner Sherer of St. John’s Episcopal Church in Chicago said this during her online sermon this Easter weekend: look for the silver linings.

I could try again and succeed.

You may also have seen the silver linings lately.

As Rev. Kara pointed out, there are many, but we have to look for them.

In our neighborhood, we can hear the birds chirping much more now because there’s less traffic.

Babies and dogs are spending more time with their parents now.

And maybe another silver lining is I may learn how to make pierogi.

I just can’t give up.

And neither should you.

How to look your best on video conference calls

People around the world are finding themselves working and conducting media interviews from home for the first time.

The COVID-19 pandemic is forcing many to move their in-person meetings to video conferencing on platforms like Zoom, Skype, Google Hangouts and GoToMeeting. It’s also changing the media landscape. Interviews that used to be done from a studio are now being shot in experts’ living rooms, offices and kitchens.

As a media and public speaking trainer, I teach executives who need to do interviews on TV stations worldwide through video conferencing and who need to reach other live audiences through their computer screen. During my executive coaching sessions, I show them how to represent their business and themselves professionally and also make sure their message sticks with their audiences.

You can make a good impression through video conferencing platforms as long as you have a few specific things in place. 

Create a background that isn’t distracting

The key to speaking on stage, in the media, in your videos, during live video conferencing and in job interviews is to keep the audience focused on your message and nothing else. Take a look at the wall or space behind you and make sure nothing behind you is distracting. Look for light switches, outlets, open doors, open windows, and anything else that could be distracting. You want people to remember your content and message, and if there’s a very obvious picture or book behind you that grabs the viewers focus — remove it. You don’t want anything in the  background distract from your message, or worse, offend your audience.

Good lighting is your best friend

When you are selling your company, your brand, a product or service – you want to be seen in the best light. Literally and figuratively. When you show up in a media interview or in a meeting and you are poorly lit or there are lots of shadows on your face, the audience can subconsciously feel like you’re hiding something. That you can’t be trusted. The majority of your message is your physical content. This is why what you do and your appearance is just as important, if not more, that what you say. Lighting is vital to the way you appear on the screen. Make sure there are no windows behind you. The lighting needs to be in front of you. Natural light from a window is the best. If you don’t have a room that works for this, use soft lighting from a lamp and place it right in front of you without creating shadows from your monitor or phone. I’ve used this light from Amazon for years. It’s under $100 and many of my clients use it for their media interviews. 

Make eye contact with the camera

Just like in person, you want to make great eye contact with your audience. When you’re video conferencing, this can be tough. The software will show you speaking on your monitor, along with the person interviewing you – or all the people you’re talking to on the call. This can create a lot of distractions for you. The key here is to make sure when you are talking, you look into the camera on your computer or phone. When you look directly into the camera, you will be appearing as if you’re looking right into the eyes of your audience. This takes practice to get it down and not let your eyes wander off and look at all the other people on the call. Why is this so important? When you let your eyes move from person to person or somewhere else in your room, you may appear to be insincere, detached, uninterested, insecure and even shifty. Make time to practice good eye contact. You do not want to portray the message that you don’t care about the meeting or interview.

Be camera ready

Working from home means you may not have to put a lot of focus on what you’re wearing on your lower half, but you need to make sure that from waist up, you’re all business. Take the time before an on camera meeting to do your hair, makeup and wear something that is not too distracting. For on camera media interviews through video conferencing, my clients normally have their makeup and hair professionally done. During a pandemic, you can’t hire someone to come to your house to get that done. There are many consultants who can talk you through this virtually right now. Our team of makeup and hair stylists is doing this for our clients. If you don’t have a professional to help you, make sure you look well-rested, alert, your skin looks healthy and your best features are emphasized. Since you want your audience to lock-in with your eyes and trust you – make sure your eyes are not blocked by extra hair and eyeglass frames that don’t fit your face properly. A lot of professionals are balancing children at home and working — so both men and women can benefit from a little concealer under their eyes. Make sure your hair isn’t distracting and falling into your face during your calls and try not to adjust your hair or touch your face while you’re on camera. When it comes to wardrobe, it’s better to wear a solid color or something that’s not as distracting. If you have a bold or quirky personality and you love bright colors and patterns, it’s okay to be yourself, just make sure you don’t distract from the conversation.

Position the camera at eye level

Before you jump on a call, make sure the audience will not be looking up your nose or at your ceiling. We’ve seen a lot of these kinds of calls and interviews! Make sure you’re going to appear to your audience at the angle they’re used to seeing you from across a table. Adjust your computer so it’s at eye level by adding books or something else to raise the computer up a little. Sit upright, in the front half of your chair, and look alert. Do not swivel. Again, you want to pretend like you’re making eye contact with the people on your video conference, so make sure you adjust your computer accordingly so you can look right into the camera when you’re speaking. 

Be heard! (and sometimes silent)

If you’re in a virtual meeting with a lot of other people, mute yourself when you’re not talking. You may have kids and/or pets at home right now and a spouse working from home. This is the time to learn how to effectively mute yourself when you’re not talking so the speaker is heard clearly. Also, make sure you shut off your notifications. You don’t want to hear your computer or phone dinging throughout. You also could be taking notes during the call, and you don’t want the sound of your fingers tapping away to distract the others.

Working from home also means creating barriers between your home and the “office.” Make sure to create a good system that will keep you happy, successful and sane during this (hopefully) short period of time where most of us need to work from home.

  • Sleep at least eight hours a night. Working from home can create some unhealthy habits like working at all hours of the day/night. Make sure you are getting your personal time to recharge and you’re sleeping. Showing up as your best during video calls and media interviews online while you’re not rested can be a big gamble. You need to be able to answer questions thoughtfully and think quickly. You need sleep for optimal brain function.
  • Shower every single day. Start your day with a shower and do your normal morning and evening routines. This will keep you alert and productive. Plus, you need to look good on camera!
  • Create 10-15 minute breaks between large blocks of meetings. Stretch, go to the bathroom and eat. You cannot show up looking healthy, trustworthy and likeable on camera if you’re dehydrated, are not sleeping, and you’re hungry.

While working remotely might be a bit of an adjustment, we’re here to help you feel confident and make sure your message sticks with your audience and makes them ACT.

How to get into college or land an internship without an expensive admissions scheme

That’s the advice and strategy I received before I headed into a local community college in the northwest suburbs of Chicago to take my ACT.

My father said those words to me as he dropped me off.

I know my dad – this was not his normal supportive dad advice.

I am sure I was having a typical 16-year-old snotty teen girl day. Quite sure I was also running late.

The point is, I was not coddled.

I walked in scared to death.

My parents didn’t have the money to bribe proctors — and I’m 100% sure they wouldn’t have even if they had the cash.

I didn’t get a car as a 16-year old birthday present.

They didn’t sell my Girl Scout cookies for me so I could be the state winner.

They wanted us to be self-sufficient. To earn what we got.

I took the ACT once.

It wasn’t my sister’s perfect score, but it was enough to get me into the schools I applied to in 1993.

Even back then, it was a helluva competition.

It’s obviously worse now… and I have no idea what it will be like when my daughter goes to college in 18 years.

The news this week about the college admissions scheme is alarming – but definitely not shocking.

When it first broke, I shared the headline on Twitter but gave the moms in the center of the story the benefit of the doubt. I thought, maybe they didn’t know? Maybe Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin paid this guy — and said, get my child in — and that was that.

How to get into college or land an internship without an expensive admissions scheme

 

I thought they possibly didn’t know the tactics taken by William Singer, the head of the college preparatory business and founder of the charity who is identified now as “cooperating witness 1.”

Hours later, as more information was released, we learned from the New York Times that Huffman and William H. Macy knew this college prep coach would “arrange for their daughter’s SAT proctor to secretly correct her wrong answers and boost her score.” And that, “Huffman and her spouse agreed to the plan.”

Earlier this year, in an interview with Macy in Parade Magazine, he said, “we’re in the thick of college application time, which is so stressful.”

That, I can relate to. Not the bribing part.

Parents track me down on LinkedIn sometimes to help their teenaged and 20-something children get into prized college internships and med schools.

We are very proud to have a 100% track record in college and internship interview success.

We don’t bribe these schools. My company helps these students interview better. The students put in the work — and together, we formulate better answers to their questions, help them gain more confidence in their interviewing, show them which parts of their stories to tell and which parts are superfluous.

This is the kind of consulting from which your student can really benefit.

How do they benefit from having all the doors opened for them?

How will they learn to open their own doors someday?

We started by advising and preparing executives for media interviews and public speaking, but it grew in the past years to include young adults. Internships are getting more and more competitive. So are medical schools. Some of the highest-ranked institutions in the U.S. News Best Medical Schools rankings accept less than 4 percent of applicants.

Storytelling is key to interviewing for colleges and internships. Your ability to communicate sets you apart and helps you standout from others competing for the same spots.

From a student’s confidence, verbal delivery and body language to their social media presence, we work on the whole picture. Parents are very appreciate of the social media advice we give to their sons and daughters. Parents know how important it is — but breaking news… sometimes, kids don’t listen to their parents.

Many first interviews for college internships are now conducted on Skype, Zoom or Google Hangouts. We show students how to interview virtually and how to make the best impression. We teach how to frame their shot, what to wear, where to look and how to light themselves so they look the best possible.

We don’t do the work for these students — but we help them find their strengths, poise and confidence to help them present and interview better.

That’s the best way we know how to help a student land the college they dream of — or the internship that will start their career in the strongest way possible.

Storytelling on Twitter – How to Tweet (Part Two)

Now that you’re set up, what will you Tweet?

So, you’ve got a Twitter account, a username, a bio and you’ve followed key people and organizations in your community. You also may have the reins to your organization’s main Twitter page if you’ve been tasked to Tweet on behalf of the entire company.

Now, what to Tweet?… And, what not to Tweet?

A knee jerk reaction for many of us is to post headline after headline after headline. Many a journalist has done it. That’s how many people started using Twitter back in the day. When using your individual account, leave the bulk of those headline Tweets to your organization’s flagship Twitter account.

 

Today, you are giving readers the experience of living vicariously through you by seeing the news manifest over time. And, they will have opportunities to engage with you in a variety of ways, which drives traffic, a higher appreciation of your hard work, loyalty to your byline and increases your pool of sources. By the way, people love behind-the-scenes pictures and videos. Have a picture of everyone working a big story in the newsroom? Are you at a fire and have pictures of all the other media scrambling to interview the fire chief? Are you eating lunch at your desk again because you have a deadline to hit? (These are great opportunities for Instagram Live too!)

 

Your organization’s main Twitter account is the home for breaking news and sharing or ReTweeting the “best of” your team’s stories, photos and videos. It is also a place to respond to followers’ questions and comments (even with a simple “Thanks!”). Here you can share compelling quotes from stories, hard data and context, which inspire followers to go to your news site for more.

Getting started

Let’s walk through how to use Twitter.

Click on “Home,” in the upper left menu bar. Once you’re home, you’ll see the question “What’s happening?” below the menu. This is where you will enter your Tweets.

First, know that Tweets are a maximum of 280 characters. This was previously limited to 140 characters, which was daunting to many. But, as journalists you are primed for this by exercising the brain muscles you use to write your ledes.

If you absolutely cannot find a way around the word limit, Twitter offers an option to hit the “+” button next to the “Tweet” button to write a series of Tweets. This is also known as a “thread,” a tool you can use to create a feed on a developing story.

When and how much to Tweet

In general, on your personal Twitter accounts, it is good practice to Tweet at least once a day and at 3 p.m. to garner the best engagement with you and your news site, according to an analysis of 40,000 Tweets from @Hootsuite (that’s the Twitter account of the social media management tool).

What to Tweet

Here’s what to Tweet or Retweet from your individual professional account:

  • Select compelling stories, photos or a brief video by you or your colleagues, which are linked to your news site. These elements highly increase engagement and traffic through ReTweets. The most successful imagery on Twitter capture crucial or emotional footage, as well as the funny, surprising or bizarre.
  • Hard data, which adds valuable credibility.
  • Share what is developing on your news site and in your beat – whether you are on your way to a controversial school board meeting, major protest or a colleague is on a crime scene. For breaking news, the audience on Twitter wants to know what is happening now, and followers want valuable updates from a verified, objective resource.
  • Ask for reactions to issues and events, and make call-outs for sources to stories. You will be surprised by what you receive.
  • Respond to your followers’ questions and comments. You can do this by hitting the “reply” button on a Tweet.
  • And, mention people or accounts by typing the “@” button before a username. This also links your Tweet to the account of the person you mentioned.

Here are some good examples of what to Tweet:

 

Hashtag ethics and what not to Tweet

In the body of a Tweet, a # symbol can be entered before a word or phrase to create a hashtag. By doing this, people will click on your hashtag and pull up other Tweets containing the same keyword or topic. Vice versa, this also means people can find your Tweet and link to your story by entering the hashtag into a search.

It’s exciting to give Tweets a boost into the global stream with this tool, but the overuse and inappropriate use of hashtags #are #not #only #annoying #to followers, but also are considered to be unethical.

Hashtags are often construed as editorializing. If there is a trending hashtag surrounding a major event, take time to discuss with your news team whether the use of it creates the illusion that you or your news organization are aligning with one side or another on the event or issue.

 

Instead, if an objective hashtag is not already visible, make one to create a pool of reliable and objective information. This raises the reputation of your news organization even higher by being the trendsetter.  

Lastly on what not to Tweet, polls, GIFs and emojis are also options for adding to Tweets. However, it probably goes without saying that Twitter polls are not scientific and you probably won’t post many GIFs or emojis from your individual account or your organization’s account, as those can be seen in the same vein as editorializing hashtags.

For more on Twitter terms, go to its glossary and read more on Twitter basics.

Now that you know when to Tweet, how much and what to Tweet, go ahead and start tweeting.

Are you Tweeting for the newspaper’s account? Want to know how to get more retweets and make sure people are actually clicking on the story?

 

Look out for more this week on using Twitter’s advanced search function, how to gain new followers, how to create lists and pull analytics to see what’s working and what isn’t.

 

Storytelling on Twitter – A Guide for Journalists (Part One)

In this three-part series, we’re focusing on how to use Twitter to drive readers to your news, update the public in real-time and significantly raise your ability to engage readers with some easy steps.

    • You’ll learn how to start up a Twitter account.
    • We’ll talk about how to unpack your journalist’s toolbox on Twitter to ask your community engaging questions and share compelling stories that link directly to your news site.
  • Lastly, you’ll take your social media prowess to a new level by understanding this platform’s analytics so you can see first-hand what works and what falls flat.

Let’s get started.

Go to Twitter.com and follow a short series of prompts to enter your name and email address.

What’s in a name?

Once you sign up, you’ll need to select a username. What’s in a name? This is actually very important in your role as a trusted member of the media.

Your username on Twitter, also known as your “handle”, is your byline on Twitter. With this, you are creating a clear view to who you are and with which media outlet you are associated. That way, readers know they can continue to look to you for updates on your unbiased, breaking and in-depth coverage.

Here are some examples of usernames:

JanSmithMailTribune

JanSmith_MailTribune

Of course, if you set up a personal Twitter account, remember, when posting work-related content, you should state that you are affiliated with your employer and link the coverage to your news site. This will help your readers and followers to understand the difference between what is your individual account and what is an official Mail Tribune tweet.  We’ll talk more about how to tweet and what to tweet in a bit, but first, let’s get you set up.

About you

So let’s talk about you. Your bio on Twitter is a brief description that blends your professional profile with who you are as a human being.

Consider using keywords, such as journalist, reporter and your employer in your bio. Link to your news site. Your beats and geographic coverage area will also help people find you when they are searching for the information you champion. Also, list any awards or proudest achievements, which add to your credibility. Then, let readers relate to you in a way that humanizes you without sacrificing your journalistic integrity.

Here are some examples:

As you’ll see in the examples above, the concepts about your bio also transfer to your profile and header photos. Keep it professional and realistic, and add something personal to you.

But, this is not a one and done deal. You can change your bio and photos over time to see what works. We’ll talk about how you can peek into your success rate by learning more about analytics in our third Twitter installment.  

For today, let’s focus on the basics of setting up not just a Twitter account, but setting up a solid news forum for hard-hitting and respected news backed by intentional actions which foster high quality reporting.

For more on getting started, go to Twitter Basics.

Help is never far away. Twitter’s Help Center has more on customizing your profile.

In the meantime, read Twitter accounts run by people and organizations you respect (and even get a laugh in at Overheard in the Newsroom). Follow key people and organizations in your coverage area. Look out for more this week on how to drive traffic to your stories on Twitter, and the ethics of engaging readers on Twitter.

Pregnancy, Fertility, and 5 things I changed to pull off my biggest production

I have produced thousands of hours of TV news. I have willed chopper signals to appear (aggravating directors), created brand new news shows in cities I didn’t know, worked days straight without sleep to get the job done…

Never in my life have I wanted to produce something more, and have been more disappointed — over and over.

This story would be incomplete if I skipped to the end and only told you the good news.

I spent years reading other women’s good news and feeling broken. I don’t want to do the same to any woman who may read this. Leaving the bad news out doesn’t tell the complete story.

In the past 2.5 years I have:

  • Powered through five rounds of IVF (my husband had cancer, so this was our only route possible)
  • Lost a child at 8.5 weeks pregnant
  • Lost twin girls at 17-weeks pregnant
  • Gone through eight procedures with anesthesia (something I had never done before turning 40)
  • Shot myself up almost every night with several drugs (hiding it on planes, in restaurant bathrooms, while traveling for clients)
  • Been told by one doctor that my eggs were too old (when they were fine, thank you very much)
  • Changed my entire diet, in addition to everything we use in our house and on our bodies

All to produce a human being in the end.

And we’ve done it.

With the help of incredible doctors and nurses….

Ted and I could not be happier (oh, and still a little scared) to broadcast that we are expecting a baby girl in April 2019.

I have never worked this hard for anything. And I’m the girl who took 32 credits each semester of senior year in college to graduate on time in 4 years. I guess having a baby in my 40s was to be expected…

If you’re going through something baby related, I’d like to share what we did to turn around our luck a little. Please know, you are not alone. Here’s what we changed and maneuvered around in the past 2.5 years.

Don’t take “no” for an answer

When I started dating my now husband, the conversation of children came up, as it does. Ted told me the story of his cancer. Before they saved his life, they saved 10 vials of sperm in case he wanted to create life someday. That was the first time during this process I didn’t take “no” for an answer. No chance of having a baby naturally? No problem. We’ll get this done. I thought, no big deal… lots of people do IVF with amazing success rates. (See below where I talk about not trusting the media.)

Boxes and boxes of drugs… all to produce eggs for retrieval

Ted and I were married when I was 39 and a few months later, we tried our first IUI. I was 40. I got pregnant each time the doctors helped me. Whether it was an IUI or egg transfer with IVF, I was pregnant. Oh, except for the one time I had an embryo transfer and hours later (when I was supposed to be on bed rest) our entire basement flooded with 14 inches of rain water because the people who renovated our home left a big clog in the sewer going out… there was that, but that definitely doesn’t count against my fertility. That was the builder and the realtor’s lack of divulging information. Back to my fertility. I had no issues getting pregnant.

In 2017, I became pregnant with very rare mono/mono twin girls. This was IVF #2. They split late, and shared a placenta and sac. They were so closely entwined together. I was afraid each day carrying them. The doctors told us we had a 50/50 chance of delivery and if one passed, the other could not survive. There are many risks including them being tied up in an umbilical cord. We lost them at 17 weeks. Two months after they died, we went back to our doctor to ask him for next steps.

Without any hesitation, he said, “egg donor.” I was 41 and devastated. I asked him what he saw with my eggs that made him think that this was my fault. He only responded that in women at my age, the best case of delivering a healthy baby would be with an egg donor. I left feeling defeated and ANGRY. I was getting pregnant. Was it too many fertility drugs that made my embryo split so late? Was it not getting off the drugs fast enough? Was it just bad luck? Whatever it was… I had no real proof (neither did he) that my embryos were at fault. He didn’t want to keep trying with this 41-year old’s eggs. I was hurting his numbers.

We ditched that doc and went with another fertility clinic in Chicago that had higher CDC rates for live births (the number you want to compare). The service and compassion was night and day different at Advanced Fertility Center of Chicago. Dr. Sherbahn didn’t take hundreds of patients at a time. There were never long waits in the waiting room for all the early morning blood draws. The doctor was very scientific and to the point — which we loved — and gave us the news I was hoping for: it is definitely more difficult to conceive over 40, and even more after 42, but he saw nothing wrong with my eggs or our sperm.

Do not take “no” for an answer.

Let yourself be vulnerable

We’re all different, so this might not be your style. I couldn’t keep my secrets inside. They were eating away at me. I felt alone and broken. I felt less than a woman not being able to go all the way to delivery. I was getting puffy because of the shots and couldn’t workout to make myself feel better. The doctors will tell you to stop the intense workouts after a transfer, and I found out later that the intense workouts were probably working against me during the weeks of shots. I didn’t want to see my friends because I couldn’t drink (and that was no fun), plus, I felt like they just wouldn’t understand. And, the hormones… don’t get me started. Just ask my husband.

So after the first loss and as I hitched my future to IVF, I started to tell people. I opened up. This did two incredible things for me: it increased my circle of friends dramatically instead of closing me off — and I learned a tremendous amount from these women. A tremendous amount.

Resting after an egg transfer.

I was so open, it probably scared some people. But, I couldn’t stop what I had started. I was feeling less alone and broken as I heard other women’s stories. All that talking (that I’m so naturally good at) attracted more women to me who had experienced similar things… and who could offer me guidance. If I hadn’t shared, I would not have heard from a friend about this other doctor with the great CDC live birth rates. I would not have known that it could take much longer than I expected. I would not have known that there were women I knew and had worked with who had gone as far as 10 IVF rounds to produce a baby. That gave me the drive to keep going and honestly, the competitor in me was NOT going to give up before I went as far as her. If she could do it – I felt that I could do it. If I hadn’t starting talking about what I was going through, I would not have reached out to a woman online who I saw had the same very rare twins as mine — and who outlined to me the major changes she made to give birth. I also wouldn’t have met the owner of a fertility clinic who talked me through how all the work stress and very intense workouts I’m used to could hurt a woman’s egg production and pregnancy. Fight or flight? The way I had learned to live in the TV news business for the past 20 years? NOT good for egg production. Actually, I had really screwed up my thyroid because of all those overnight hours working in news and because of my lack of relaxation and coping mechanisms. I also wouldn’t have known how the chemicals I was putting all over my body and cleaning my house with could also change my outcomes.

Sharing isn’t always easy.  I am a media coach and public speaking trainer. A few of my clients knew when I was pregnant with the twins. It was so uncomfortably noticeable that I was pregnant – and early on. Because the twins were mono/mono, the doctors were already charting out a very early delivery and bedrest. Plus, I was in my second trimester when I lost them, so I had started to tell a few professional clients. Seeing the disappointment in their eyes left me uneasy. I was coaching someone with a professional sports team here in Chicago at the time, and even his wife knew. I felt like I had let them down too. They were excited for me… they loved their kids and knew having a child would bring so much new love into my life. Even through that weirdness — I am glad people knew.

Talking to a therapist, being as vulnerable as possible with her, and not holding anything back was also incredibly helpful. I was training a nationally-known psychotherapist, author and speaker at the time that I lost my twins. Joyce Marter is an incredible expert on the subjects of psychology, career, wellness and relationships. I was helping her craft her message for a national speech she was giving. After one of our sessions, I turned the tables and mentioned what was going on in my personal life. I asked her for a referral. I told her I thought it was time for me to talk to someone about my losses and how to cope. She sent me to a wonderful therapist in Chicago where I learned visualization techniques that at first, I thought would never help, but then I used during all the hardest times and I still use them. She also helped me with something I had been doing for years, and thought was helping. I compartmentalized. I had a Plan B and C at all times. I was protecting myself from not feeling the pain and it wasn’t helping me. For example, when I lost our twins, I started doing research on adoption while we went forward with our next IVF round. I wanted to protect myself by knowing I had a backup plan. I wanted to know I was going to be okay, even if I wasn’t able to give birth. She told me that I needed to deal with the pain from the losses — and inject all my energy into the idea of giving birth if I was going to go on with IVF. She told me that researching adoption wasn’t allowing me to be all in on this one major goal. The Plan B could be hurting me. I needed to visualize the hour that I’d give birth. I needed to see all the people in the room and visualize holding my baby. I needed to give all my energy to that one moment so I could see it to fruition. This was very powerful. I realized that I had all the time in the world to discuss, research and apply for adoption later. For now, I needed to be all in on ONE goal. I could not protect myself with another backup plan. I had to jump with both feet and my entire heart. So I did. This was hard at first. But I let myself be open and vulnerable. I made myself visualize my own goal. I allowed myself to dream.

Have faith

And I prayed. A lot. I don’t think I’ve ever prayed this much, and I went to Catholic high school for a year and a Catholic university.

My father once asked me a question after a bad breakup in my 30s. I dodged a bullet there… but at the time, I was devastated knowing I had to leave the relationship. I was a mess for months. One day, my Dad turned to me and asked very point blank: “Do you still believe in God?” I was surprised at the question, and answered, “yes.” I do not remember if he responded, but that question kept coming back to me when I felt lost. When there were no answers. I just kept repeating to myself, “Do you still believe in God?”

I know that prayer alone is not the answer. I believe in science and the power of doctors and nurses. I believe that God created these healthcare experts so we can experience better health and even have a baby. The Catholic Church opposes IVF and teaches that what I’m doing is wrong, but the bible tells us God wanted us to go forth and multiply. So who should we believe?

There were times that I actually started to believe I was receiving signs that I shouldn’t continue trying to have a baby.

When our house had the freak flood hours after an embryo transfer. Ted was out of town on a work trip. I was alone. I was supposed to be laying flat on the couch. Undisturbed. Resting. Waiting for this embryo to do it’s thing. Instead, I was wading through the water saving my yearbooks and other possessions. Then the fire department came because the water caused an electrical problem that smelled like fire. I thought, “is this a sign to stop?” But I quickly straightened my head out and remembered what my Dad asked years before: “Do you still believe in God?” I stopped feeling sorry for myself and had faith that everything would work out. I also have faith that the builders who lied to us and who knew about the sewer blockage when they sold us our house will someday realize that removing the blockage a year prior would have been the right thing to do.

I was so angry when we lost our twins. I spent weeks sad and then more time being angry at every pregnant woman I saw. I also hated seeing kids. I felt robbed and empty. Miscarriage will tear you apart, tear you open and make you feel like you’re broken. It’s heartbreaking on levels I had never experienced. You are not alone. Do not judge yourself and your level of grief. Do not judge yourself if you cry for three weeks, or not at all. I lost it when I least expected it. An airport bathroom, weeks in bed at night, in the car, at restaurants. It was all healthy. Embarrassing, but healthy. Many couples become closer than ever before. I’ve heard that from friends and experienced it myself. I also realized a much deeper desire for a child after miscarrying. I was not going to give up. No way.

I had to keep the faith.

Our last Christmas as a family of three.

We had to do a few rounds of IVF in 2018 before our July embryo transfer. It was probably my age. Pregnancy loss dramatically increases over 40. The pregnancy loss rate after 40 is 33% and after 42 is 45%. This is why many couples opt to do further testing on their embryos. PGS testing helps eliminate most of the chance of miscarriage. We did preimplantation genetic screening (PGS) on all of our IVF rounds except our last one which resulted in our current pregnancy. There is a lot of evidence that PGS is not as accurate as previously thought. If you’re over 40, your doctor will push for PGS. I pushed back only once. It was this last IVF round, IVF #5. I was too afraid that we were throwing out good embryos after reading dozens of studies about how other countries were banning it. I pushed back this one time because I had an overwhelming feeling that I should not test the embryos. You see, once you test them, and they come back abnormal — the doctor will not transfer them. I am not going to define the feeling I had that morning… I will just say that you have to follow your gut and your faith in whatever higher power you believe in.

Do not trust everything you hear, see and read

I built a career around media as a TV producer and now a media coach and public speaking trainer. But, as you know, you cannot trust

everything that’s broadcast, or written.

There are two stories we’re told that I believe are cruel.

One, the publicization of celebrities in their 40s who have babies and the information that is missing from those stories. Like egg donors, or IVF, or the fact that they froze their eggs ten or twenty years prior. Don’t stop at the headline. Read the “how they got pregnant” part in the longer versions of the digital stories if you can find them. Sometimes they do not tell the reporter that part of the story. Sometimes the reporter doesn’t know to ask. Going through this myself has made me better educated. Experiences make better writers. Better reporters. I now know more about these issues — and it makes me a better person knowing the struggles some women have. Don’t leave out the struggle from the story. It’s mean. Think about the audience reading it. Leaving out these important pieces of the story hurts women seeing the stories or reading them at home. They feel less than and their boyfriends feel like they have more time to conceive “because everyone’s having babies now in their 40s.” It’s a terrible disservice.

The second story we’re seeing more and more of lately is that of major corporations covering the egg freezing for women so “they’re not on a timetable.” How do you know if your eggs will fertilize when you match them up with sperm in your 40s? You’re creating this false guarantee. Women will work like crazy thinking they have insurance waiting for them for when they’re ready. I get it. It’s brilliant on the part of companies like Google, Apple and Facebook — but are we giving women all the information? Do they know this is not a guarantee?

Do your research

Your best friend who just relaxed on vacation, and finally got pregnant… she’s not you. We all have different workings going on in there. Talk to doctors. Don’t trust what you read online. Not everyone tells their complete story. Only the fun parts.

As I mentioned above, we did preimplantation genetic screening (PGS) on all of our IVF rounds except our last one which resulted in our current pregnancy. There is a lot of evidence that PGS is not as accurate as once thought. Several countries now ban it. Read about this before you make a decision. I personally believe many embryos that were normal but that came back abnormal were thrown out. I do not blame the doctors because this is the best testing they have as of now. We can do better. More research will be done and future women will be better served.

Research your products. I had no idea that what I was using on my face, body, in my hair, and all over our house could be hurting my fertility. I couldn’t believe how many cancer-causing agents, allergens, immunotoxins, and endocrine disruptors we’re lurking in my deodorant, nail polish, shampoo, and toothpaste. Google it. There are studies that show parabens in products reduce sperm quality. There are also countless studies like this one from the University of California, Davis on the chemicals found in household products like cleaners, wipes and mouthwash. It says: “everyday household products contain these chemicals, which at a certain concentration have been shown to disrupt fertility in mice and which we have found in cells disrupts the oestrogen-signalling process so important for human fertility.” I OVERHAULED our house, my makeup bag… everything.

I spent 20 years in newsrooms – moving from city to city. Working really hard for other people.

I got the Emmys, Associated Press awards… and other stuff. I had tickets to anything I wanted.  That was my normal. Now I’m living a life that’s more colorful. It’s rich in real relationships. I have quality of life. Self care. Taking time for myself. Learning to breathe. Cultivating female relationships. Less chit chat at cocktail hours and more power powwows. Lifting others up. And I’m nicer to myself. A helluva lot nicer to myself. For years, my mom asked me to get acupuncture… massage… and not count big workouts as self care.

Acupuncture twice a week during all my IVF procedures. Now, I go once a week.

But it wasn’t until i tried to have a baby… to grow something inside me, did I listen.

I saw no other choice.

After a ton of research, I changed it all.

Here’s my growing list:

  1. Cleaned out each and every cleaning chemical out of our house. Here’s what I use now. Completely non-toxic.
  2. Made sleep an absolute priority. No negotiations there anymore.
  3. Acupuncture. There is all kinds of research on acupuncture (and massage) and fertility. See my friends at Pulling Down the Moon for help. Not in the Chicago area? They have webinars and all kinds of online support.
  4. Supplements. Listen to your doctor and never skip. Let me know if you’d like the list of what I take each day.
  5. Changed all my makeup out to a non-toxic brand I absolutely love.
  6. No soy. Check your supplements. Check everything. They sneak soy into things you wouldn’t expect.
  7. Eggs love the paleo diet. Ya’ll know how bad sugar is for you, right?

These past 2.5 years of heartbreak, procedures, shots, huge doses of hormones and a new understanding of how I can build a healthier life for myself has helped shape me as a woman and leader more than any job or experience in my life. This experience brought me so much closer to my own gender. I have a new understanding of the burdens some women carry while they keep a smile on or act stronger than they really are at work. Or feel like they have to be tougher or more competitive. It’s been frustrating (because we didn’t always receive the results we wanted) — but it’s also been a GIFT that I never knew I wanted or needed. I guess that’s the impetus of the story… and I’m finally putting it in words.