“Smile.”
“Why don’t you smile more?”
“You’re so pretty when you smile.”
When I was younger, directors said it to me. Photographers. Bosses. Strangers on the street. My parents still do.
“Smile.”
My resting bitch face found in the wild while producing a show on Midway Airport in Chicago.
I speak at colleges often. Recently, at Loyola University Chicago’s School of Communications, resting bitch face came up. Lots of people have it. I’m one of them.
I may look like I want to tear you apart, when actually, I’m singing Oh Happy Day in my head.
Those suffering from Resting Bitch Face (aka Bitchy Resting Face) are mostly women. You know someone afflicted with it. They may look vaguely annoyed, judgy and slightly bored.
I talk about resting bitch face when I coach women. It’s important to know if you have one. Especially when you’re interviewing for a job, speaking on stage or doing a media appearance.
Queen Elizabeth, Anna Kendrick, Victoria Beckham and Kanye all have it.
Here’s a little science behind it.
Jason Rogers and Abbe Macbeth, behavioral researchers with international research and innovation firm Noldus Information Technology, decided to investigate: Why are some faces off-putting? What, exactly, makes us register as RBF?
The researchers enlisted Noldus’s FaceReader, a sophisticated tool engineered to identify specific expressions based on a catalogue of more than 10,000 images of human faces. The software, which can examine faces through a live camera, a photograph or a video clip, maps 500 points on the human face, then analyzes the image and assigns an expression based on eight basic human emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, disgust, contempt, and “neutral.”
God save the Queen & her famous face
My resting bitch face found in the wild while producing a show on Midway Airport in Chicago.
Anna Kendrick and her self-described bitchy resting face.
One particular emotion that helps the reader’s response jump is contempt. The software measures the look of contempt in a face in subtle signals, like “one side of the lip pulled back slightly, the eyes squinting a little,” Rogers explained.
Or: “It’s kind of a tightening around the eyes, and a little bit of raising of the corners of the lips — but not into a smile,” Macbeth suggested.
The cues are understated, yet the machine detects and interprets them the same way our human brains do.
This is important. You may not know it – but your brain detects and interprets what it thinks someone is feeling or saying through their face.
It means – even though one thing is coming out of your mouth… the way your face LOOKS may determine how that person feels about you and what you’re saying.
Here’s the kicker.
Noldus’s FaceReader is software and therefore immune to gender bias. It detected RBF in male and female faces in equal measure. Which means that the idea of RBF as a predominantly female phenomenon has little to do with facial physiology and more to do with social norms.
Have you ever heard anyone tell a man to smile? It’s pretty rare for a man to have resting bitch face.
Smiling is expected from women far more than it’s expected from men.
“… there’s a lot of anecdotal articles and scientific literature on that. So RBF isn’t necessarily something that occurs more in women, but we’re more attuned to notice it in women because women have more pressure on them to be happy and smiley and to get along with others.” Macbeth said.
Worried you may have RBF?What else could you be doing that you are not aware of right now that’s hurting you in interviews, public speaking and media appearances?Let me help you. As a media coach and public speaking trainer, I help my clients with these issues.
I’d love to send you free tips like these regularly. Sign up for my media blasts here.
We’re just days away from tax day. You have three extra days this year to file your returns. The deadline is Tuesday, April 18, 2017.
If your business has anything to do with taxes… I’d be reaching out to your local media with different angles for TV, newspaper, radio and digital audiences. It’s not too late. Journalists need these stories now and it’s free advertising for you.
It’s also a good time to think about how to save money this year. Did you know there are many job-related costs that are tax write-offs?
Recruiters tell the Graduate Management Admission Council that the top skills MBAs need are oral communication, listening and writing.
If you have a customer-facing or board-facing job, invest in your personal appearance, market yourself with a personal website showing the advantages that come with you and create a LinkedIn page that reflects you best.
It’s also important to work on your public speaking and storytelling skills.
Hiring a media coach or a public speaking trainer benefits your career greatly, and if your company doesn’t reimburse you for the expense, it’s a tax write-off.
“The expenses don’t have to be required by your employer to be considered necessary. You make the call about whether an expense is necessary to do your job,” says Laura Adams, MBA, Money Girl.
Here are some other ways you can pay less taxes and save money legally from Laura Adams, MBA, Money Girl. (I was a TV producer for 20 years – and specifically the “money producer” at FOX Detroit for several years – so giving tax tips is in my blood.)
Adjust your tax withholding. If you get excited about receiving a big tax refund each year, that may be a sign that you need to adjust your tax withholding. Getting a refund means you overpaid tax during the previous year by giving too much money to the IRS.
Start a business. No matter if you want to create a tech startup that revolutionizes the world or just do a little freelancing work on the side, having a business is a great way to shelter more of your money from taxes. If you start building websites, selling skincare or offering services as a virtual assistant, business expenses might include the cost of a computer, accounting software, and office furniture. If you’re an Uber or Lyft driver you could deduct a portion of your car payment, insurance, and cell phone bills. I have two businesses. Let me know if you need help with this one… I have gone through the startup process and can help you.
Take the home office deduction. If you operate a business from home, you’re eligible for even more money-saving tax deductions. You can claim a home office deduction whether you rent or own your home and no matter if it’s a full- or part-time venture.
Contribute to retirement accounts. One of the best ways to protect your income from taxes and accumulate wealth for the future at the same time is to contribute to one or more retirement accounts.
Contribute to medical savings accounts. A flexible spending arrangement (FSA) can only be offered by employers. Anyone who has a qualified high deductible health plan, through an employer or on your own, is eligible for a health savings account (HSA). It’s like an FSA, except that it doesn’t have a spending deadline. Both accounts shelter your out-of-pocket medical expenses from taxes. Check out IRS Publication 969 for more information.
Many traits in demand by companies, like public speaking, storytelling and personal branding, are not taught in school or by your company.
Do you get stuck when writing about yourself on LinkedIn? Are you having trouble telling the story of what you did for each company?
Do you freeze a little when you need to speak in front of larger or even small groups?
You can learn how to be better at public speaking.
You can learn how to tell the story of your career online, in your resume – or during a job interview.
I’m the media coach and public speaking trainer who helps people present at a higher level, tell their story to attract dream clients or to gain media attention.
You’ve read all your friends’ posts on Facebook about what they say United Airlines and the doctor should have done Sunday.
I’ve been on the phone for the past 24-hours with people asking me what should have been done and how I can help the doctor.
As of this writing, the doctor has been hospitalized and has a lawyer helping him take care of his family and professional reputation. I hope he recovers physically and mentally. What happened to him was inhumane.
The story is global and it’s especially bad in China. Media there is all over this story because of the doctor’s ethnicity. It’s not good for United because the airline is targeting the country for air travel growth. China is just the world’s fastest growing major aviation market.
Was this all preventable? Yes.
Here is how critical thinking and communication skills could have been used to prevent this media and public relations crisis. Review and keep in mind in case something (hopefully on a much smaller scale) happens at your company.
No one should have been boarded if the flight was still over-booked. Not boarding people is a lot easier than boarding and then asking four people to remove themselves. It was a Sunday before the start of the work week. Everyone had to be somewhere else. Don’t leave it up to volunteers if you’re not going to raise the stakes.
United should have offered a higher voucher amount. Another step up in airline dollars may have garnered more volunteers. To my knowledge, they had not yet hit the maximum they are allowed to go. Throwing another $1200 ($300-$400 more for each passenger) at the problem would have saved them the millions they are losing today.
If that doesn’t work, bounce people at the gate using the carrier rules we all agree to when we purchase a ticket. Airlines are allowed to do what they did – just not in the way they did. They can start with those who checked in last and bump those flying on the cheapest tickets. From what I’ve read, medical personnel heading somewhere to treat patients are not supposed to be bumped.
If all that STILL didn’t work, drive your employees or offer to drive the passengers. Chicago is not THAT far from Louisville. A road trip is a lot easier than saying sorry and paying millions when you bloody a passenger.
Obviously, United didn’t do this… and that’s why we’re talking about them.
What could they have done AFTER their mistakes Sunday to avoid this media storm? Here’s a list that you can copy if you have a communications crisis:
Get out in front of the story IMMEDIATELY. You KNOW there is video. There is ALWAYS video.
Get the CEO on TV right away Sunday night or first thing Monday morning to publicly apologize. In this news conference the CEO should say:
the company messed up (and deliver this genuinely)
there will be an investigation
they are going to make this right with the family
how they will change their future policies to make sure this does not happen again
and assure the public that they are safe doing business with their company.
Publicly make a donation to a group that gives scholarships to future Asian-American doctors who want to further their education.
By today, three days after the crisis, they’re back to the friendly skies.
As a spokesperson and communications director for a major law enforcement agency, this is what we did when there was a crisis. I wrote our communications strategy. It’s not always easy to do — but it’s easier than handling the PR crisis that comes later if you don’t follow a good crisis communications plan.
So what about the doctor’s past history that I keep reading about today? Does that have anything to do with all this? No.
No one should be treated this way on a plane heading home to treat their patients – or to do anything else.
There’s a lot of rumblings going on that United Airlines leaked the doctor’s personal history to the media to deflect what they did Sunday. Could have been the airline – and it could have been investigative journalists. No matter what, it shouldn’t make us feel that he deserved this kind of treatment. He didn’t. Nor did his wife.
What we all should remember is, we can avoid this from happening inside our companies. Think through the actions and the consequences when you have an internal communications crisis. Five minutes of going through “what’s the absolutely worst thing that can happen if we do this?” can save you millions and a lot of bad media and PR.
Are you ready for YOUR story to be on TV in the right way? Book your free consultation with me here. As a media coach, I’ll help you craft your story to make it newsworthy.
You can spend weeks, even months preparing your talking points and building relationships with your favorite TV shows to get your story on the air. After all that work – you’re cancelled.
Breaking news can take over your TV segment, leaving you to pray you’re rebooked in the future. It happens all the time.
Something else can happen. Something amazing.
Someone else can cancel or not show up in time — and the producers are left with time in the show to fill.
You’re there and you’re ready to go on again. Yes… you’re going live on TV again. Twice in one morning. More free advertising for your company. Would you want that kind of TV coverage?
Lots of people would be freaked out trying to figure out what in the world they’ll talk about. They don’t prepare for this kind of opportunity.
But you’re ready – prepared for anything.
That’s what happened this morning.
Here’s a live look behind the scenes inside the Chicago TV studio this morning:
I set this segment up for the wine company, Cellar Angels, based in Chicago.
This is exactly why I coach my media clients to be ready for anything. You never know what will happen in live TV – but since I’ve been a TV producer for 20 years… I have a pretty good idea how to deal with anything that will come your way. It’s why I’m successful as a media trainer.
Thank you to the producers at WCIU TV for booking my segment this morning. Here it is if you’d like to watch it. The producers are total pros. When the other segment was cancelled – the segment producer moved quickly and effortlessly to get my guests back on set ready to go live. Thank you… you know who you are 😉
Check out her new column “Taking Names.” It launched this month. Shia featured my story of finding Mr. (Ted) Wright in Chicago (on a dating site) & our Florida wedding. As a media coach – my job is to help people look and perform the BEST when they’re in the media… so it’s a little weird to be asked for MY story.
Here’s what I’m using to keep my Florida beach wedding glow. Who wants one? I’m placing a bulk order TODAY! $25, no tax, no shipping, no commitment. Get 2 for $45!♨️ Message me ASAP!
People love this self-tanner, including the beauty editors over at Marie Claire who rave that it “gives you more than a glow.” It also treats your skin with vitamins A, C, and E for antioxidant protection. This is a must before you take any professional pictures, go on TV – hit the stage… or hit up a family reunion.
